I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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