well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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