some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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