I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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