i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
