I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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