What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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