You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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