We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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