The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
