yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
