she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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