i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
