The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
