her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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