The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
