Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
