So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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