Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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