I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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