Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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