i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
