One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I had to cum in my sink.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
