I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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