Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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