There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
