we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
