Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
