I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
