I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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