I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
