I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
