I wish you could order shots online.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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