i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
