What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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