Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
