So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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