I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I pour the whiskey from now on
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
