I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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