so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
