Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
