normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
