I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
