At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
