Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
