The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How external is "for external use only"?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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