and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
