i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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