I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
