But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
