...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
