take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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