We're like a lot better than the average bears
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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